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ICC Certification Case Reporting

Make every effort to submit your case reports within 30 days of services ending. Case reports are carefully reviewed by a Candidate Review Team prior to graduation so a detailed report is the best way to communicate the dynamics of the peacemaking skills used. Copies are automatically sent to you and your Advisor.

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Privacy Policy:  Do not use the actual names of the parties.  But be consistent in the names that you do use for this report and your uploaded report summary. Any private case documents and files must be kept secure or destroyed after follow-up is complete.  Please consult with your advisor or the ICC office if you have any questions.

Case Management Questions

Case management is everything that precedes actual conciliation and is often a significant preparation for both conciliator and the parties.

A family member contacted me and encouraged this married couple to meet with me.

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Yes. We spoke at length about their situation. They described at length their struggles and predicament and their desire for help.

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Neither party are believers in Jesus, yet. Their conflict is over how to parent Matt's daughter, who is Sarah's step-daughter. They disagree sharply. They struggle to communicate without fighting.

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Not directly.

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I used a consent for counsel form, from ACBC. I had them fill out an extensive intake form. I had them sign a consent to record form, so I can take detailed notes. I am using an AI notetaking app, called "Summary AI."

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They have no pastor. Matt's mom is a long-term member of our church. I have known Matt for about 25 years. He is 40.

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Yes, I was clear that my job was to listen and seek to offer them help from the Bible. Sarah didn't know the counseling was going to be biblical. Matt hadn't told her. She was willing to try. After one session, she is enthusiastically participating.

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Matt's mom is praying. Our small groups knows about the situation via Matt's mom, Leslie. She has been discreet but has shared enough for prayer.

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Pre-mediation / Coaching Questions

Conflict Coaching cases do not apply toward Supervised case requirements. However, Pre-Mediation coaching is essential and counts toward your total mediation case hours.

Matt's daughter is 16 and in a very rebellious state. She has had trouble with the police. She seems unresponsive to her parents. (I am counseling her biological mom, too.) Sarah was charged by the court with physical abuse of Bella. It appears to be a one-time incident. Matt wants to take a softer, more lenient approach to parenting. Sarah cited the many bad behaviors and state of the home from Bella's behavior and Matt's apparent neglect. Sarah wants more rules and better behavior. Matt thinks Sarah is just angry and intolerant. They can't make much progress. They end up fighting. Sarah is threatening divorce.

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I have addressed their poor communication. They are largely ignorant of the Bible. They have bitterness toward each other. They are unable to see any way forward. I have pointed out how they are both standing for their view without listening to the other.

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Unforgiveness is a big issue. Pride and lack of listening was identified. Sarah: Desire for order, accountability, and respect in the home—which is legitimate but may be operating as a demand rather than a trust in God’s sovereignty. Possible frustration or resentment toward Matt for not leading in discipline.
Matt: Desire for peace and for Bella to feel grace and safety—which is legitimate but may be operating as conflict avoidance. Possible fear that strictness will push Bella away, especially given the strict environment at her biological mother’s home.
Both: Each spouse’s legitimate concern appears to have calcified into a fixed position, producing an adversarial dynamic rather than a collaborative one. This is a classic James 4:1–2 pattern: desires clashing and producing quarrels.

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Proverbs 18:13 — “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” Applied directly to the couple’s pattern of not hearing each other out before responding. I coached them to listen for what was valid in the other’s perspective before defending their own position.
The Book of Proverbs generally — the purpose of wisdom literature in teaching teens so they can have a successful adult life. This framed the parenting discussion in terms of Bella’s long-term character formation, not merely rule compliance.
Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble”. I discussed the grace of God, the danger of bitterness, the gospel, and the importance of forgiveness.
The gospel was mentioned explicitly: the grace we have in Christ as the foundation for extending forgiveness and grace to one another. This is all new to them, so I pointed out the power of grace and forgivness to cure us of bitterness, in line with Heb 12:15

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I spoke of the promise of forgiveness in Christ. I haven't yet directly asked them to trust Christ and forgive one another.

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1. Together, draft a short list of basic household rules—Sarah’s top three expectations for Bella at home (reasonable, clear, enforceable). This addresses the lack of shared parenting standards and the “good cop / bad cop” dynamic (ties to #5: parenting disagreement; #9: polarized roles).
2. Together, develop a family cell phone plan: identify first obligations before phone access (chores completed, time for family conversation, eating together). This addresses Bella’s phone use while creating a collaborative parenting exercise (ties to #5: Bella’s behavior; #9: polarized roles).
3. Reflect on the Scripture discussed regarding grace, bitterness, and forgiveness (Prov 13:15 / Heb 12:15 ) and consider how it applies to their conflict with each other. This addresses the interpersonal hurt and offense dimension (ties to #5: conflict; #6: gospel application; #10: bitterness/demand patterns).

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They are making some progress but still slipping into old patterns. I have needed to talk to Sarah during the week about this and encouraged her to point Matt to their mutual agreement from our sessions.

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This will be an ongoing case. I am continuing to encourage them to follow through on their homework.

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Mediation Case Questions

Continue completing this case form for all mediation cases, independent or supervised. You need to be the lead conciliator on two (2) cases submitted and you need to complete the intake for two (2) cases submitted.

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Personal Reflection

This section is one of the most important and helps your advisor and the Review Team understand your perspective and growth as a conciliator.

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