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Coaching Demos
39$Reconciling Under the Cross - Coaching DemonstrationsValid for one yearMediation Demos
49$Reconciling Under the Cross - Mediation DemonstrationsValid for one yearAdjudication Demos
59$Reconciling Under the Cross - Adjudication DemonstrationsValid for one year
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Coaching Demonstrations
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Demo 1 - Drawing Out the Story
The coach opens a door to assisting someone through story listening. The coach cannot begin to help another person until the individual is satisfied that the coach has heard his story and understands his interpretation of it. This requires asking questions about more than just factual data. Moreover, drawing out the story provides information that the coach can use in guiding the person to understand his own heart idols.
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Demo 2 - Lead to a Christ-centered Perspective
An important step in moving an individual toward reconciliation is helping the person replace a worldly view or self-absorbed attitude with a Christ-centered perspective. One of the most effective ways to begin this process is to help the party remember whose he is—a redeemed child of God, purchased with the precious blood of Christ.
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Demo 4 - Diagnose and Tell
The least effective method for coaching someone is to diagnose the party’s problem and prescribe a solution. For most adults and teens, being told what to do is demeaning—they may feel like they are being treated like a child. People tend to resist being told what to do, regardless of how insightful the counsel is. It is easier for an individual to avoid admitting fault when told how she sinned. The approach of “diagnose and tell” gives birth to increased denial and self-justification. And if the person accepts the advice? She is essentially being trained to bring other problems to the coach to be solved. The individual being coached doesn’t mature from the experience but rather learns unhealthy dependance.
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Demo 5 - Uncover Idols, Guide Repentance and Proclaim God's Forgiveness
When coaching, you can help a person discover the underlying idols that are driving his sinful behavior. Well-chosen questions help individuals uncover idols of their hearts.
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Demo 6 - Be Reconciled to Others and Coaching Through Homework
An effective way to help someone overcome denial in honest discovery is through homework assignments. After meeting with someone and learning about her situation, the coach will have some insights regarding her inner struggles. The coach can select a reading and provide thought-provoking questions to assist her in overcoming the tendencies to deny and self-justify. Without the coach physically present, the party is alone (with God) to discover for herself what is happening in her heart.
Assignments can also be used to reinforce live coaching. They can be designed to help the individual reflect more deeply on what was discussed.
Mediation Demonstrations
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Demo 1 - Opening a Mediation
In this introductory section, the reconciler establishes a collaborative environment and sets a non-adversarial tone for the mediation. During the opening, remind the parties of whose they are (children of God—1 John 3:1) and of God’s promise to always be with them (Hebrews 13:5).
During the opening, the mediator does most of the speaking. After that, you will guide the parties to take over the conversation. Briefly review the GOSPEL agenda and clarify expectations for the schedule. Explain the use of private meetings and clarify the role of the reconcilers, parties, advisors, and witnesses.
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Demo 2 - Storytelling
Transition by explaining that the goal of storytelling is to share and clarify information so that everyone can better understand what has happened and what can be done to resolve the conflict. Point out that storytelling is for story listening. The reconciler is responsible for facilitating communication and understanding between the parties as they tell each other their stories.
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Demo 3 - Private Meeting
Private meetings are primarily coaching activities. The reconciler uses these meetings to check in with parties, teach, evangelize, clarify information, offer encouragement, confront inappropriate behavior, explore solutions or concerns that a party may not be ready to discuss in front of the other party, and help a party to plan a confession or prepare for a confrontation (see 1 Thessalonians 5:14).
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Demo 4 - Problem Identification and Clarification
In problem identification and clarification, the reconciler takes an active lead in summarizing main points relating to issues, assisting the parties to sift out the important issues, and guiding parties to negotiate substantive issues and reconcile personal issues.
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Demo 5 - Issues, Positions & Interests
Conflict of any kind involves people with different positions. When identifying and clarifying problems, the reconciler has an opportunity to teach the parties to distinguish issues, positions, and interests. One of the most important things you will do as a mediator is to help parties understand interests in order to reach a mutually agreeable solution.
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Demo 6 - Explore Solutions
When parties begin to understand their own and each other’s interests, they are ready to explore solutions. Helping the parties to understand one another empathetically goes a long way toward reconciliation and mutually agreeable solutions.
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Demo 7 - Lead to Agreement
The overall objective in mediation is that the parties experience reconciliation and arrive at an agreement that settles the substantive issues. Agreements may be made orally, especially in an informal setting. But it is wise to document agreements in a written memorandum. In so doing, you minimize the risk of miscommunication and “buyer’s remorse.”
Adjudication Demonstrations
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Demo 1 - Opening a Hearing
The adjudicator’s opening comments set the tone for the hearing and establish the parameters for a safe and fair environment. The adjudicator’s remarks communicate that authority to decide a solution in this matter has transferred from the parties to the adjudicator.
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Demo 2 - Reading of Issue Statement and Opening Statements
The adjudicator reads the complete statement of issues to be decided. This defines the authority of the adjudicators and establishes on what basis testimony will be judged. Reading the statement enters it into the official record. Then the adjudicator instructs each party to give an opening statement, indicating the time limit. (The length will vary depending on the complexity of the case.) This gives each party a chance to say something early in the process and to summarize what each one plans to present.
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Demo 3 - Testimony and Receiving Evidence
Presenting evidence is similar to storytelling in mediation but is more formal and managed by the adjudicator. Civil rules of evidence guide but do not control what is received into evidence (e.g., hearsay may be allowed but given less weight than other evidence). Biblical rules do apply, such as commandments or other directives.
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Demo 4 - Closing the Hearing
When the process for receiving evidence and all questioning is completed, the hearing moves into the closing portion. Note that the steps for closing an adjudication hearing require more formality than mediation.