Reconciliation Weekends

“What a gorgeous view!”

The sad but true tale of a church where bitterness festered for almost 20 years, initiated by an innocent comment planted the seed of bitterness in hearts, which caused conflict, strife, and ultimately a church split.

What can Cain, Naomi, and Saul teach us? Is bitterness the cloak that covers up disappointment, grief, and frustrations? In this interactive workshop, we will explore ways to identify the true root of bitterness and ways to eradicate it. Then, as peacemakers, how can we guide, encourage, and support those whose lives are wrapped up in bitterness without shaming and blaming?

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; Heb 12:15

Our kids are growing up in a world struggling with conflict. Conflict begins in the heart, and God’s answer to the problem in our hearts is found only in Christ Jesus. This workshop will equip you with concepts and materials you can use right away to engage God’s Word and His world with hearts filled with the hope of the Gospel. Building on simple language and visual cues, even younger learners can understand and apply the good news of peace through Jesus in the home and classroom. Activities build toward adult peacemaking materials as more complex concepts are introduced. Designed to help parents and teachers keep in mind the distinction between God’s Law and Gospel and how they impact the heart, workshop participants will receive some printable materials and a resource list to help them as they encourage kids to practice peace!

Join us for the opening session for the conference. Our keynote speaker will be Dwight Schettler who will be speaking on the topic of "Responding to the Call to Reconciliation". There will also be a time to interact with other attendees and learn how to navigate the workshops for the rest of the month. Session will be 1 hour.

Sick of all this diversity tension that invades and disrupts our lives? We see it swirling and twirling around in our polarized society. We hear its daily grind in news cycles, amongst family, friends, and the community. So, what are we to do? This workshop can help you curtail the destructive effect of conflict, related to at least 12 types of differences common to man that often leads to conflict. The workshop gives a divinely inspired, bold and fresh approach to looking at differences and conflict from various perspectives for clarity, like a prism illuminates otherwise distorted views. God created differences within us all, which lead to various diversity encounters. These encounters are divine assignments from God, for us to practice biblical principles for spiritual growth. Learn more about your God-given assignment in this workshop.

Joseph’s story confirms the following principles: God is with us in conflict. God uses us in conflict. God means the conflict for our good and the good of others.
The story of Joseph, like many in the Bible, involves conflict. Using Joseph’s story as our text, we will look at how the conflict was created and how it impacted Joseph as well as how Joseph responded to the conflict and those who caused it. We will also look at the conflict in the context of God’s plan and eternity.
The principles of Joseph’s story will help us and those we serve as reconcilers consider and answer the following questions:
- Is God with me in the conflict? How does this impact my response?
- Is God using me in the conflict? How is He using me?
- Does God mean the conflict for my good and the good of others? If so, then what is He doing in my life, the lives of others involved in the conflict and the lives of others?
- How is my conflict story a part of God’s plan and eternity? How does this give me hope, regardless of the outcome of the conflict?

*Handout includes PPT notes and outline for further study

Anger is one of the most common and complex experiences of life, and conflict is saturated with it. We consider anger to be a moral response rooted in a judgment we make against a perceived wrong. While God and the Lord Jesus always have righteous anger, and we might have righteous anger, we will see why so much human anger is sinful. In His righteous anger God seeks to establish justice and offer mercy. For us to have righteous anger like His we have to turn away from three wrong responses and practice three godly responses. While our society will say it is OK to be angry with God, Scripture helps us to discern the moral difference between expressing anger against God (it arises from unbelief) and expressing anger to God (it arises from trust).

Though the spiritual and eternal rewards of reconciliation ministry are the goal, the financial part of it can be a struggle. Costs for training, resources and getting certified can be a large financial investment. Christian Reconcilers have the ability to help raise their own funds through “Crowdfunding”. Crowdfunding is easy to set up and gives you the ability to have your own supporters through a monthly or one-time giving commitment. These funds will come directly to AoR but will put in a fund for you to use when you need it. Funds can be used for resources, training registrations, application & enrollment fee for Certification program and more. Pastor Phil Heiser has used crowdfunding to provide finances for past in-person conferences, training registrations, fees for Certification Program and more. Come learn how crowdfunding has worked for Phil and how it can work for you. Part of the workshop will teach you how to set up your own page and get you started on the road to help fund your reconciliation training expenses.

Victims of abuse are faced with many challenges as they journey toward healing. Many services focus on the physical injuries and the emotional toll the victims endured. This workshop will focus on nurturing the soul, exploring ways to walk alongside trauma victims, and offering a healing balm to their wounded souls. How can we, as peacemakers, help victims see the truth about the Bible’s commands to forgive rather than further traumatize and injure the wounded? What does it mean to forgive the unforgivable? Why forgive? How to forgive?

Throughout the Old and New Testaments, Scripture radiates the joy of owning our sin before God our Savior and experiencing his forgiveness. And experienced Christian conciliators know the relief and delight that comes when a person repents and confesses. We also know that nothing can delay successful conflict coaching or torpedo a mediation more than incomplete or lame confessions. This workshop overviews the biblical truths summarized in chapter 5 in my book, Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts, and applies them in practical ways to our conflict coaching and premediation settings.

Question-are you needing help with difficult, even crucial conversations? Do you feel like your staff are so far out of sync that you have a serious, overwhelming conflict? Are you looking for tips for dealing with conflict in your church? Do you need some biblical strategies for how to engage in difficult, crucial conversations in healthy ways that could lead to some kingdom outcomes? This workshop will offer pastors and church leaders biblical strategies and resources that focus on working towards acceptable, God-honoring resolution and reconciliation.

Ted introduces his new book describing the four roles of a reconciler: teaching reconciliation, coaching people in conflict, mediating disagreements, and adjudicating disputes. Learn about this new comprehensive resource for reconcilers.

How many times have we taught adult peacemaking principles, only for people to say to us "I wish I'd known this years ago - it could have saved my marriage, my relationship with my family, my workmate etc.". Teaching our future adults these principles as children or youth is one of the most significant gifts we can possibly give them, and will change the course of both their lives and the lives of others. This workshop explains and showcases the comprehensive, biblical, fun, engaging curriculum developed by PeaceWise over the last 8 years to teach children and young people from ages 4-25 how to be peacemakers for life. These materials are now being used in more than 50 Christian schools and 17,000 students in Australia and we will also have input from a US school, with Sioux Falls Lutheran School Executive Director, Tia Wesser, joining us for the session.

Recent #MeToo and #ChurchToo movements, and high-profile abuse cases, have made power imbalance and abuse a hot topic. Christian Conciliators need to know how to navigate these serious issues. The culture demands a victim-centric approach to abuse allegations (including mandatory investigations, public exposure, and worldly justice). In contrast, this workshop aims to educate Christians Conciliators with a biblical perspective of power and abuse issues, while encouraging them to maintain a Christ-centric and trauma-informed approach to biblical peacemaking that offers hope for redemption for both victim and offender.

Living in a country that welcomes people from all cultures means that sooner or later you will find yourself in conflict with someone, or coaching someone in conflict, who experiences the visceral reality that FACE is one of their biggest barriers to resolving conflicts. Maybe that person is you!

For many Christians, particularly those from various Asian, Middle Eastern, or Hispanic cultures, saving face often trumps proactively responding to conflict in a God-honoring way. Chinese Christians have repeatedly told me, “You can’t address conflicts biblically unless you first deal with face.” Understanding the impact of face on relational conflict is critical.

No matter what our cultural background, face impacts all of us. Some of us are simply more aware of it than others.

In this workshop, you’ll learn:

• What face is and how it presents itself in everyday conflict
• God’s intentions for face and the Fall’s corruption of it (a theology of face)
• What makes proactively addressing conflict possible in face-sensitive relationships (application)

You’ll leave with a new perspective on face and with hope that creating a “face safe” Christian community characterized by honesty, grace, and love--where shame can be healed and sin is responded to instead of ignored--is possible.

*Handout includes a prayer and PPT notes

Few of my relational counseling cases—whether marriage, church members, or roommates, and whether coaching one party or mediating both together—don’t start with Colossians 3:12–14, a passage worth mastering. Here Paul reminds Christians of God’s gracious salvation, their life-transforming identity in Christ, and eight relational graces that will mark every God-pleasing relationship. This workshop overviews the biblical truths summarized in chapter 7 in my book, Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts, and applies them in practical ways to our conflict coaching and premediation settings.

The ongoing pursuit of peace and harmony is what this workshop leader refers to as living in “Resolution Land.” Resolution Land is a mindset and attitude that brings peacemaking action. “The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so” (Romans 8:6-7). In Resolution Land, you have purposed in your heart, made up your mind, and are determined to pursue peaceful relationships in obedience to God. It is a way of thinking that leads to action that fosters harmony in relationships. As a minster and ambassador of reconciliation, come gain more insight into how to live successfully in resolution land.

This workshop will teach a model/diagram for diagnosing why people relate to one another they way they do based upon what is being served in the heart. It will also highlight the importance of healthy relationship skills and character traits. In other words, the diagram can be used as an x-ray into relationship dynamics between parties so that a plan for change can be developed.

Many Christian counselors, Biblical counselors, and pastors desire to bring Christ's Gospel and forgiveness into their soul care, but don't know how. Luther's very Christ-centered theology, based in Scripture, and his desire for the care of souls, can provide us with that foundation. Various techniques from Dr. Marrs's book by the same title will be shared, and participants will be encouraged to develop more techniques.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? And why is scripture calling me adulterous? Aren’t those scriptures just for Biblical characters – how could it be relevant today, in my situation? In this workshop, we will walk through a way to use the “Development of an Idol” graphic as a table which the parties in dispute will fill in as they read and discuss the related James 4 scriptures. With guidance, they can share what needs to be put in each section of the table so that the full picture begins to be painted. Their participation and interaction is key to the self-discovery we all desire to have happen in their hearts.

We can also use the principles in this Idol tool in informal, sitting-down-with-a-friend type of situations. We’ll look at how that can be done, also. The goal in both scenarios is to guide people to recognize & address their part in the dispute. Then they will be ready to participate in the “cure” for an idolatrous heart which you have waiting in the wings for them.

Biblical peacemaking principles and practice are timeless, universal, and effective. It has been observed that the Gospel message makes an impact and finds ready acceptance when it is applied with cultural relevance. In this workshop, we share lessons and experiences from a decade of teaching biblical peacemaking in West Africa, specifically in Ghana, Nigeria, and Cameroon. Peacemaking and conflict resolution go hand-in-hand. These lessons have been facilitated as part of mediation training for professionals, workplace conflict management training, married couples seminars, in churches, and other audiences. Some feedback and challenges encountered will also be discussed.

How careful should a person be when driving a car or operating other heavy machinery? Can a helpful tool become a destructive force if it is used wrongly or inattentively? This workshop explores our opportunities and responsibilities when using one of the most powerful instrumentalities available to peacemakers, parties, and all people made in God’s image: our words.

Homework is the Conflict Coach’s secret weapon! As conflict coaches, the most productive time parties spend is often in reflecting on God’s word and how it applies to their conflict. Therefore, one of the most effective things we can do is to provide meaningful homework for their reflection. Many resources are available to you for this task! This workshop will explore options for creating quality homework assignments, including the new Homework Dashboard! You will also hear inspiring stories of how God worked through various homework assignments to bring about miracles of reconciliation.

For those working in the field of Christian Conciliation, case administration can feel overwhelming. What is it anyway? Case Administration is a set of steps that assists the Conciliator in getting parties from Point A to Point Z, from initial inquiry to resolution. Why is it important? How a case is handled can make or break passport. Whether they have product satisfaction or not, you can encourage and strengthen their personal and process satisfaction through good case administration. This workshop will walk through how the ICC provides Case Administration and will provide some basics on how you can utilize this process for your own ministry and Conciliation work.

Who is the unforgivable in your life? Is it you or someone who hurt a loved one? What is the unforgivable sin? Are you waiting to be forgiven? Ted presents 18 questions most often asked by people struggling with unforgiveness. These questions are answered more fully in a new book by Ted and co-author Rev. Dr. Mark Rockenbach that will be launched at the end of 2023.

Domestic Violence is a devastating and unfortunate reality in our fallen world. We will explore what might be going on in the heart of an abusive man and why this issue is not suitable for marriage mediation until the man repents and shows fruit in keeping with repentance. Proper protocols will be presented as well as thinking how the Bible would put this into the category of oppression.

We've all learned a particular structure for how to conduct mediations. Many of us might use the GOSPEL process, others may use something else. This workshop is going to explore the issue of when we might "flex" what we normally use by way of process, because of the particular case we are doing. Is there a place for a break time after the parties tell their stories, for prayer, reflection and to prepare possible apologies? Is it always best to ask parties to put up their positions first in response to an issue? Is brainstorming always better than letting the parties talk first about an issue? And where is the Holy Spirit in all this? This will be a highly interactive session as we share and learn from each other's experience and wisdom!

Sharing the ministry of reconciliation is a task for every believer (2 Corinthians 5:17-20) though some of been called specifically to devote their lives, ministry and/or career to that mandate. The work of Christian Conciliation has a specific legacy, and many have been trained in Coaching, Mediation and/or Arbitration. Come hear from a panel of those who will continue this legacy for years to come with enthusiasm, new perspective, a love for people and the call to live out this ministry of reconciliation.

Marriage counseling is challenging for everyone. This is especially true for any full-time church worker of a congregation because of their many responsibilities and duties. This workshop will teach you a framework of providing 6-8 sessions of addressing issues with couples while serving a congregation.

This six-lesson workshop presents our full day Conflict Resolution vs. Reconciliation seminar Bible study on reconciling relationships and resolving conflict. Presented in 3 2-hour workshops. In this power-packed presentation, you will see how God’s ministry of reconciliation is meant to be lived out in your daily life. You’ll learn practical ways to apply your Christian faith in family, business, church, and legal conflicts. Since all children of God are called to be peacemakers, this Bible study is appropriate for every Christian. Church leaders who have responsibilities for teaching and assisting others in their conflicts will find this seminar especially helpful for assisting others to respond to conflict in a biblically faithful manner.

Sometimes mediations bring remarkable results. Yet is not unusual for a mediation to be partially successful. Participants experience significant improvement and have hope for the future. But what about those situations where, after hours of conflict coaching, there seems to be little readiness to confess sin or to forgive? Is all lost? This seminar will address the pitfalls and possibilities in such circumstances.