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ICC Certification Case Reporting
Make every effort to submit your case reports within 30 days of services ending. Case reports are carefully reviewed by a Candidate Review Team prior to graduation so a detailed report is the best way to communicate the dynamics of the peacemaking skills used. Copies are automatically sent to you and your Advisor.
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Check the notes I added to individual questions below. Strengths include empathy for the parties, a desire to be clear about the process that would lead to "process satisfaction," passion for seeking reconciliation. Weaknesses include the temptation to be a counselor rather than a reconciler, and the need to become more comfortable with bringing the Word, letting the parties read it and wrestle with, and then allowing them to apply that Word to themselves.
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Case Management Questions
Case management is everything that precedes actual conciliation and is often a significant preparation for both conciliator and the parties.
A District President of the LCMS.
Not very much. The District President stated these two people were in conflict and did not want to prejudice my working with these two individuals.
Yes Spiritual maturity of Kathy was average and Kevin it was high. Nature of conflict was stated clearly. I asked many open-ended questions and followed up with several clarification questions. I used the technique of asking the question help me better understand what you have just stated and asked if I heard you correctly this is what you said.
There were no non-parities in the process.
As stated by previous communication I did not use the coaching form as is, but had written out the questions that I was going to ask. Writing a report that I submitted to my advisor I stated that I learned a critical lesson to use the form as it outlined the process extremely well. I will be using this form and others in the future.
Church and pastor were not involved perse as one of the participants was the pastor. It was agreed this matter was to be kept confidential if at all possible.
I explained the conciliator's role in great detail. I may be accused of going into too much detail as it somewhat scared Kathy. This was resolved .
We opened each session with prayer, and we prayed for each other. The District President, stated he would keep me in his prayers. I asked my pastor to keep me in his prayers regarding the coaching sessions I was undertaking hopefully leading to mediation and reconciliation. I did not mention the parties involved, location, or issues present. Kevin stated to me that his wife, Lillian is keeping me in her prayers. I asked my wife, Karen, to keep me in her prayers as well. No one used any scripture with me. In my Prayer for myself I used Psalm 23; Romans 8:1; Deuteronomy 6: 4-9;
Pre-mediation / Coaching Questions
Conflict Coaching cases do not apply toward Supervised case requirements. However, Pre-Mediation coaching is essential and counts toward your total mediation case hours.
ISSSUES: Trust, Not being truthful, Kevin stated that Kathy is telling others in the congregation confidential information related to her by the Head Elder. Kathy was also gossiping, spreading false information, and her negative feelings about Kevin. Anger with Kathy, disappointment, frustration, demeaning his wife Lillian, trying to destroy his credibility with the members of the congregation. Trust
BZ: "Trust" is a broad concept, not an issue. What was the issue about trust for both Kevin and Kathy? "Kevin does not trust because he says..." "Kathy does not trust Kevin because..."
Same comment about "Anger."
Water-ski questions: I asked questions regarding his ministry; likes, dislikes, frustrations and celebrations, especially at St. Paul’s. Idol exposing questions: “Would you please explain a little more regarding what you just stated so that I can make sure I understand what you have just said? I would restate his answer: “If I heard you correctly you stated xxxxxxx.” “Why is xxxx important to you? Help me better understand?” “Have you ever considered xxxxxx in dealing with this xxxxxxx?” In the follow -up questions I became more specific with each question.
BZ: Directing scuba diving questions to the commands of God help parties examine their heart regarding what they have said. "Which of God's commands to you think best apply to your actions (or attitudes or words)?"
For Kevin: Trust: Anger: Frustration: Grief: Being deceived by the Head Elder: Disappointment. I believe these to be heart issues by the content of his verbiage, the tone of his voice / emotions, and the consistency of his communication. For Kathy: Trust: Anger: Grief: Believing her congregation was being destroyed. She was not being recognized / valued. Her self image: She stated there are three sides of Kathy; 1) Kathy the person people see in public. 2) Kathy the person who is crushed and they do not see. 3) Kathy in the middle who does not know what to do with herself. I believe these to be heart issues by the content of her verbiage, the tone of her voice / emotions, and the consistency of her communication.
BZ: Heart issues are the idols parties are worshipping instead of God. What are God's commands you discerned the parties have broken that brought about the need for reconciliation? And how did you coach the parties to understand the sins they have committed?
I opened each of the coaching sessions with Scripture and prayer to set the tone and theme of the session. Romans 8: 35 -38; No
matter what happens to us we cannot be separated from the love God that is in Christ our Lord: 2 Corinthians 5: 16-21; The
theme of reconciliation and we are called to reconciliation: Galatians 3: 26 / 4-7; We are all clothed in Christ: Ephesians 4:
24-26; We are to put away falsehood and speak truthfully leading to reconciliation Colossians 3: 12-14; We are called to
show compassion and grant forgiveness: Psalm 51: 1-7; We are to show mercy and seek forgiveness: Psalm 121; Where is
the source of our help: 1 John 3: 1; We are all children of God. I used these passages as they spoke to the issues at hand. Kathy and Kevin responded very favorable.
BZ: Did you ask the parties to read the Scriptures themselves? And did you follow up with asking, "Do you think this Scripture applies to this situation? If so, how? And if not, why not?
Remember, you are seeking to bring the parties face-to-face with God not with you as the reconciler.
Kevin was beginning to to identify with his idols. Kevin, I have great news for you - you are forgiven. Forgiveness for mistakes was pronounce and accepted. Kathy was not willing to look at what her idols may be. She was focused on blaming Kevin and stated if there was forgiveness to be given - it was up to God
BZ: I'm curious as to why you wrote, "forgiveness for mistakes"? Saying 2+2=5 is a mistake, but not a sin. One thought about Kathy's unwillingness to look at her sinful contributions may have been to ask her if her responses to Kevin were in line with Matthew 4:48 (Be perfect, therefore, as you Heavenly Father is perfect.)
I gave each of them self reflection questions to ponder. Kevin was better than Kathy in this endeavor. Both followed through with the Scripture readings assigned. Both were assigned to look carefully at the Eighth Commandment and reflect on it.
BZ: Good homework choice. If your homework direction did not include it, you might consider asking them to consider how the Eighth Commandment applied to them, not to the other person.
Overall the goals that I had for each meeting were met
Kevin was willing to continue with the coaching process hopefully leading to a mediation conference. Kathy was not as she stated it is in God's hand to deal with as she is too angry at Kevin to even think of mediation. She stated she wished he would just leave the congregation.
BZ: Were you able to ask Kathy if Ephesians 4:26-27 applied to this situation? If so, how? If not, why not?
Mediation Case Questions
Continue completing this case form for all mediation cases, independent or supervised. You need to be the lead conciliator on two (2) cases submitted and you need to complete the intake for two (2) cases submitted.
No one assisted me, however, I did discuss issues with my advisor.
Yes, I did discuss this case with my advisor and he gave me several creative approaches and questions.
N/A Did not go to mediation
I did explain this process when we started coaching as if we were going to go to mediation so they would be comfortable the process.
I tailored my prays on openness, all being children of God and forgiveness. Scripture readings also followed this format.
N/A Did not go to mediation
N/A Did not go to mediation
N/A Did not go to mediation See the heart issues in the coaching where they told their story.
N/A Did not go to mediation
I opened each of the coaching sessions with Scripture and prayer to set the tone and theme of the session. Romans 8: 35 -38; No
matter what happens to us we cannot be separated from the love God that is in Christ our Lord: 2 Corinthians 5: 16-21; The
theme of reconciliation and we are called to reconciliation: Galatians 3: 26 / 4-7; We are all clothed in Christ: Ephesians 4:
24-26; We are to put away falsehood and speak truthfully leading to reconciliation Colossians 3: 12-14; We are called to
show compassion and grant forgiveness: Psalm 51: 1-7; We are to show mercy and seek forgiveness: Psalm 121; Where is
the source of our help: 1 John 3: 1; We are all children of God. I used these passages as they spoke to the issues at hand. Kathy and Kevin responded very favorable.
N/A Did not go to mediation. In the coaching sessions there were a couple of confessions - forgiveness was proclaimed.
BZ: Did you invite Kevin to confess sin to Kathy?
I asked several open-ended questions followed up with clarification questions and re-statement techniques. I asked several times please help me understand more what you are telling me.
N/A did not go to mediation
N/A Did not go to mediation
N/A Did not go to mediation
N/A Did not go to mediation
I told Kathy that if she ever changed her mind regarding continuing process all she had to do was contact me. Kevin is still interested in mediation
N/A
Personal Reflection
This section is one of the most important and helps your advisor and the Review Team understand your perspective and growth as a conciliator.
In explaining the mediation process, one must be explain the process in detail without making it seem very complicated. I think I was too detailed in presenting all the steps of the GOSPEL acronym. It was confirmed to me the power of the use of Scripture in coaching. It was helpful for me to have key verses printed out for reference, especially when the conversation is intense. I need to remind myself at times it is God that convicts and heals – this is in God’s time and not in ours – no matter how much we want it to be in our time. With this said, I need not to allow myself to become negative or feel that I failed totally because it did not lead to mediation. I am a positive person but I have always strived for success and perfection. Though these traits can be positive, but not that much. Because of this, I feel I was too hopeful because of the way things started out and then collapsing and then starting back up again. Because of my training and background it can be easy to shift more into a “counseling” mode than the coaching mode; to be aware of this and guard against it. This was also pointed out to my by my advisor and is greatly appreciated. I believe increased personal preparation before going into a coaching / mediation session will help prevent this from happening.
I kept very good notes which many I did send to my advisor: However: The next time I have a coaching session this form will be in front of me and is where I will document the coaching session. It will keep everything more understandable and provide a clearer timeline and progression. I would have the person do more assignments related to the coaching.
I felt feelings of joy and excitement when I felt progress was being made and frustration when we took steps backward. I felt a degree of sadness in the amount of anger Kris had against Pastor Meyer and her lack to truly look into what I call the “mirror of honesty”. During the coaching sessions I felt calm and confident. The feelings expressed above were when I reflected on the coaching sessions. I have always been able to be in control of my emotions and express them as appropriate in my communication.
BZ: The "mirror of honesty" can be a helpful idea, but when we are seeking to coach based on the Word of God, using the idea of the "mirror of the Law" focuses the party on coming face-to=face with God rather than face-to-face with themselves.l
N/A